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Jason Ryan Bennett
August 18, 1978 - May 11, 1996
I've created this page in memory of my 17-year-old son, Jason, who died of brain-death on May 11, 1996, four days after he was injured in a car crash. The four boys who were in the car attended high school in Odessa, New York. They left school at the end of the day and were less than a mile down the road when the young man driving the car attempted to pass a car, lost control and hit a pickup truck head on. Jason was a passenger in the back seat of the car and he was the only one who died.
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"I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only
live in others but give them life, and not only life but
that great consciousness of life." ~Jack Kerouac
Jason's Organ Donations
I want another...to live in my place...if I may not live.
Jason gave seven gifts--his heart, liver, two kidneys, and two corneas. He was also a tissue donor. I've met the liver recipient, Phillip Leavesley, and I hope to someday communicate with (and meet) Jason's other recipients. In July 1998, a memory-filled weekend was spent camping with Pip, his wife, Linda and their daughter, Lara. Each year on May 12th, the anniversary of Pip's new life, he and his family send me a beautiful floral arrangement. The anniversary of Jason's death falls close to (or on) Mother's Day and the flowers have had a special meaning for me. They're from Jason and Pip.
Jason's heart was recovered by transplant surgeons from Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center in New York City. The recipient was a 55-year-old gentleman who is married and has 4 children. Jason's liver and both kidneys were recovered by transplant surgeons from the University of Rochester Medical Center, NY. Identical matches were located for both of Jason's kidneys. One kidney was sent to Saint Barnibus Hospital in NJ. The recipient was a 52-year-old gentleman. The second kidney was sent to Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse, NY. The recipient was a 51-year-old gentleman who is married and has 2 children.
When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. --Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
Real
In my dreams
you wait for me
free from death
we talk, we laugh
we hug, then hug again
time stops for us
you hold me
I can feel you
you are real
really real
life is good
you never left
until . . . I wake up
For the Love of Jason
A poem written by Jason's Aunt Carol and read at his funeral service.
He was born a beautiful dark-haired boy,
Unafraid, innocent, curious, full of joy.
All of us knew he would be a child held dear,
For he had a smile that went ear to ear.
Possessions meant little; his joy was in sharing,
He gave what he had out of true love and caring.
If there wasn't enough of his own to give,
He gave what was Mom's, he was sure she'd forgive.
He liked to tell stories and, with no remorse,
He would stretch the truth, only a little, of course.
In times of sadness or celebration
He was the first boy, to offer support,
To lend a hand, to share in your joy.
As he explored the world he experienced
Without seeing why you were so frustrated
And feared for his well being.
When scolded by those to whom he looked up,
"I don't care," he said, "Write me up!"
Without fear of consequences he'd do it all again,
He took his punishment like a doctor's best medicine.
These things we remember will brighten our days,
He touched all of us in many unique ways.
The day he enters the Promised Land he'll say,
"Lord, I'm here, can I lend you a hand?"
To those left behind, he'd say, "Don't worry about me,
I'm being the very best that I can ever be."
He gave the gift of life and his most precious parts,
And his love will go on in our memories and our hearts.
Jason is living in the hearts of those he touched,
for nothing loved is ever lost and he was loved so much.
Time is Everything
(A poem written by Jason)
Time is the one thing that I enjoy
Time involves you and me
As long as you and I are together
Love will never change
Time will stay the same
Our love will last forever until the day we die
We will never say good-bye
For the love that we share is never to say good-bye
Time is everything
As days go by, you are always on my mind
I will never leave you
Time is everything
You are mine and I am yours til the end of time
Time is never going to end for you and I.
When Jason Smiled
The echos of his voice still ring, to a mother who lost her son
A life lost while still just a teen, too soon--before it had begun
At birth she named him Jason, he was born such a special gift
And like sands poured through an hour glass, his memory still exists
His friends remember their special friend, the boy Jason he was named
They too recall his infectious laugh, and his smile in minds remain
Catching the school bus, and flying kites under the sky eternally blue
His mother still hears his song that sang, "Mom I do love you...."
And may time heal pain, as his smile is sketched in thoughts and memories
And when pain appears with heavy load, his smile appears so plain to see
No greater grief could a mother bear, her dear son has been gone awhile
And so it is--death has no sting, as we remember 'When Jason smiled'...
Written by Brian G. Jett--(c)~2000 hangtough.com
Thank you, Brian!
I remember . . .
Jason loved . . . adventures of all sorts . . . mischief of all sorts . . . fishing . . . the outdoors . . . his family . . . family celebrations and playing volleyball at the summer picnics . . . riding his dirtbike . . . helping people . . . our cat named Monday . . . playing Skat with Mom and Randy . . . chillin' with his friends . . . going for walks in the nearby national forest . . . camping . . . heavy-metal music (AC/DC) . . . country music (Tim McGraw and Tracy Lawrence) . . . spending time with his grandfather . . . meeting new friends . . . and LIFE in general . . .
Jase lived a joyously unrestrained life. I think he somehow knew his time here on earth would be short and he made every effort to make sure every second counted! It was easy to get caught up in his enthusiasm. Life with Jase was like riding on a nonstop amusement park ride--a little scary and whole lotta FUN !!
He was fearless in many ways. He knew the value of a smile. He taught me much more than I could have ever taught him about the truly important things in life... unconditional love, laughter, patience, forgiveness, understanding . . . he's so much a part of who I am. I haven't truly "lost" him at all. I'm proud to be his mom.--Jason's mom, Barbara
The meaning of Jason's name . . .
JASON (Greek) --HEALER . . . Jason had a beautiful smile and wonderful sense of humor. He knew how to make people laugh.
RYAN (Irish Gaelic) -- LITTLE KING
Jason and his Grandpa Merv had a very special relationship. They brought immeasurable joy to our family. They were always together, always planning and instigating things, always laughing, and always encouraging the rest of us to laugh along with them. Merv died suddenly and unexpectedly of a massive coronary on September 7, 1995. He was 55 years old. He was the glue that held our family together and his death was a tremendous blow for us. We had every reason to believe that he would bless our lives for many years to come. A few months after Merv's death, Jason and I were riding in the car together and out of the blue he said "Mom, I miss him so much." I could tell he was on the verge of tears and I hadn't come to terms with my own grief, let alone his, so about all I could manage to say was "I miss him, too, Jase." Then he said "Mom, what would you do if I died?" I replied "Jason, you're young and healthy and you have a lot of years ahead of you so I don't even have to think about that." Jason died 8 months after his Grandpa Merv.
A few of my favorite quotes . . .
A mother's child is every breath she takes, walking hand in hand, every step she makes.
--Author Unknown
I knew I would look back at the tears and laugh but I never knew I would look back at the laughter and cry. --Author Unknown
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory
no one can steal.
--From a headstone in Ireland
For everything there is a season. . .a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance . . . --Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
For myself, dear Southey, I dare not say in what state of mind I am; I loved the Boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable, and he is taken from me--yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it. --William Wordsworth~1812
You don't heal from the loss of a loved one because time passes; you heal because of what you do with the time. --Carol Crandall
Love . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. --I Corinthians 13:7-8
They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it.
Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas;
they live in one another still. --William Penn
What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose.
All that we love deeply, becomes a part of us.
--Author Unknown
You can't control the size of the waves, but you can learn how to surf.
--Author Unknown
For the test of the heart is trouble
And it always comes with years.
And the smile that is worth the praises of earth
Is the smile that shines through the tears.
--Irish Blessing
I have so many things to show you.
There is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out,
then come home to be with me.
--Author Unknown
The depth of my grief is a constant with the breadth of my love.
I would never sacrifice one to avoid the pain of the other.
--Safe Passage by Molly Fumia
For the Both of Us
As long as I can
I will look at this world for both of us.
As long as I can
I will laugh with the birds,
I will sing with the flowers,
I will pray to the stars,
for the both of us.
As long as I can
I will remember how many things
on this earth were your joy.
And I will live as well
as you would want me to live
As long as I can.
Sascha--from Wintersun
Keep My Memory
Keep my memory with you,
For memories never die;
I will be there with you,
When you look across the sky.
I will be there in the clouds,
In the birds that fill the air;
In the beauty of a fragrant rose,
You will find my memory there.
You will feel me in the tenderness,
Of a tiny baby's touch;
You will hear me if you listen,
In the twilight's gentle hush.
When your heart is heavy,
And you feel that you are alone;
Just reach down deep inside of you,
For your heart is now my home.
I will always be with you,
I will never go away;
For I will live on in your heart,
Forever and a day.
Allison Chambers Coxsey--c1996
Thank you, Stu, for sharing this beautiful poem with me. Thank you for all the times you've been there to listen. I cherish our friendship and love you dearly~Barbara
I Love You
I love you not knowing how or when or from where
I love unconditionally and without thinking
I love you because of who you are
I love because of who I am when I am with you
I love so much that it hurts to be without you
I love you because you love me
--Jason's friend, Melissa Dense
Important Touch
You're very important to me
This you can probably see
I think of you all the time
That is the prime
Subject you can see
That you mean a lot to me
Life is so hard
Without you
Everytime I deal a card
I always draw the No. 2
That is what makes me think
Of what I miss so much
Between you and me I feel a link
Somewhat like a touch.
In that touch I feel sorrow
Like there is no tomorrow
But I know there will be another day
To help make my sorrow go away
When that sorrow goes away
Then I'm going to be able to say
I love and miss you very much
And I'll always remember your sweet touch.
--written by Jason's friend, Tabitha Davis
(Tabitha and Jason share the same birthday, August 18, 1978)
To many people Jason was a type of person you cared about and loved. He was also the type of guy that made you smile. I remember in the mornings when he walked past us to go to homeroom, Jason would stop and talk to us and go on his merry way. On the days when we were in a bad or angry mood, Jason would take time out to cheer us up. I'm always going to remember Jason's smile. He would just light up the halls. There were many people who did not know Jason, but there were many people who did. The people who knew Jason knew that he was a sweet person and very easy to talk to. Jason, we all love you and we will miss your smiling face. You'll be in our hearts and minds throughout our future, remembering the good times we each had with you. May you rest in peace.
--Read by Tabitha Davis at Jason's funeral.
They said you had to go
This I didn't want to know
It all seems like a nightmare
The pain I cannot bare
You were a great friend
All the way until the end
There is a lot of sorrow
Knowing we won't see you tomorrow
You'll always have a special part in everyone's heart
I only knew you for a while
But you always had that wonderful smile
Know we love you and always will
And now our hearts will never be filled.
--Read by Jason's friend, Alysson Liberatore at Jason's funeral service.
Alysson named her son Jaysen Ryan. Each year, in the spring,
she places flowers and pictures of her Jaysen
on my son's grave. Her kindness touches my heart.
April 11, 2001 --an e-mail from Alysson
Barbara, I wrote this up last night after talking to you. Every word of it is true.
It's been 5 years
Since you've been gone
I can't believe
All we have done
Without you
Our lives seem so bare
Without you there
We sit here and cry
And still wonder why
Can't help but think
About you
A very dear friend
A brother, A son
I am not the only one
Missing you
The good times and bad
And when we were sad
You were there
A shoulder to cry on
And a laugh that was loved
To be heard
We miss you dearly
Without you
When I get upset I think of you and how long it's been since
you've been sent to heaven to be with your grandfather.
Looking down watching over your friends and family.
Making sure all is well. I can sense you near when
I need a hug or a listening ear. Just Know, and I know
you do, that you are dearly missed and greatly loved!
--Aly
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